Album of the Week: The New Pornographer's "Twin Cinemas"

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Death of a Salesman

by Gene

It's been said that we are all salesmen. No matter what it is you are doing, you are selling something. You are selling your ability to do your job. In essence, you are constantly selling yourself to meet either your own or someone else's agenda.

Also, you can't be a truly superior salesman unless you have the right props to support your message. Sure you can talk the talk at a job interview, but does your tie match your shirt? I know you have an important date tonight, so does that mean you are putting on the Limp Bizcuit pit-stained tour shirt, or are you snazzing it up with a little ditty from the Eddie Bauer collection?

Well, if there were an award for the most hungry and passionate salesperson in the world, the winner would have to be President Bush for his tiresome defense about the United States' plan to attack and go to war with Iraq.

From a personal salesman standpoint, he's been absolutely tremendous. Karl Rove has done an impeccable job of making sure that anytime Bush speaks, he's not only selling himself and his message, but he is never short of props. Whether it's the "mission accomplished" banner on the aircraft carrier declaring the end of all major battles, his staged "town-hall" meetings where "regular folk" can be seen shaking their heads agreeing with everything he says (never mind the fact that all of these people are screened more often than a Muslim at an airport), or his constant propping-up of U.S. soldiers in the background. Everything this man does, he has an effective "prop" to help pound his message him by evoking symbols that elicit emotions of pride and patriotism.

When you see a TV commercial with little yellow lab puppies rolling around on the ground in feathery-soft toilet paper, why do you think that is? It's to get you to react positively because of the emotion you'll feel. The company wants you to feel positive emotions when you see the product. If they can do this, you'll buy the product wholeheartedly…never mind the fact that you may, in reality, wind up rolling around on the ground in dog excrement with the animal. Because once you buy it, it's too late to go back.

The same goes with the President sticking soldiers up in the background during last night's message.

Let's get right down to brass tax. This "strategic" speech was conjured up in the last three days by Bush's brain, Karl Rove, in an attempt to quell the concerns and the declining popularity polls that show people simply don't trust this guy anymore. So, Bush and friends scheduled a prime-time news conference where he could walk around and talk about how great it is to be a soldier and how soldiers are of "a higher calling". I mean, who's going to stay mad at a guy and have bad feelings when there's soldiers in the background risking their life for our country? They are human after all aren't they? What are you, un-American and against the soldiers? And oh yeah…recruitment has fallen wayyyyy short of their goals since the war began so what a better way to pump people up by saying soldiers are of "a higher calling"?

I'll give the man credit. When the chips are down, his staff does its best to humanize things by bringing emotion into play, while ignoring their facts and major failures. This is a man, who after all, was literally elected because of the emotions that stuck with people from 9/11. This brings us to the second form of a prop that the Bush people have used effectively. Speech. Speech can be an emotional factor because it allows people to envision whatever it is you are telling them. Mom and dad and apple pie and baseball and America. It's a country-musicians wet-dream.
For instance, all facts have shown there is absolutely ZERO, NONE, NADDA, ZILCH link between Iraq and the tragic events of what occurred on 9/11. Yet, polls have shown that more than 70% of Bush's supporters still believe that Iraq had something to do with what happened on 9/11 and his handlers aren't that stupid. They know they have a trump card they can play whenever they want to try and turn the tide. That card was played again last night for the first time in quite a while.

The President invoked images of 9/11 six times during his 30 minute speech. The sad thing is that the war in Iraq has nothing to do with what happened on 9/11. Of course the President and the majority of his supporters want the rest of the American public to believe it does.

Based on the sad turn of events in Iraq in recent months and the images and stories people are just now starting to learn about, a growing number of the public is becoming openly skeptical about the U.S.' involvement in Iraq and what the plan is. It's sad and tragic that it has cost more than 1,700 American lives to get some people to begin questioning this administration, but hopefully something good can come of it yet, and something good can come from Iraq.

The funny thing about props is this. Over time, things change. Surroundings change. Perceptions change. And with this change, the props begin to lose their effectiveness and they wear out. In the case of Bush and company, they are learning that you can only put up the same props (9/11 and our soldiers) so much before people start looking the other way and they stop buying what you are selling.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

ABC TV - Home of the Worst Game 7 in Professional Sports History!

I’ve always been one of the tallest kids in my class. I’ve been over 6’ tall since I was 13. I also grew up in the Detroit area during the reign of Isaiah, Joe, Vinnie, Bill, A.D. and the Bad Boys. So needless to say, I was a huge hoops fan when I was younger. Somewhere between the time of the Bulls second championship, Jordan’s gambling and leaving the league to cover it up, along with his disrespect of the Pistons (it’s a Detroit thing…you wouldn’t understand), Phil Jackson’s consistent whining and complaining, the awful, awful, awful Knicks/Rockets final of ’94, and the whole NBA’s attempt to market/create the “next Jordan”, I just lost it.

Didn’t care anymore. Lost all interest in the selfish players, the awful style of the game, the way it deteriorated to one-on-one ball, players entering the league w/one year or no college ball experience who I never heard of. The whole thing.

So basically, I was like the majority of most former NBA fans. They too became “former” fans for the same kinds of reasons.

I’ve tried hard to get back into the league this year and last. Truthfully, the main reason was because the Pistons were a team that was hard to hate and they beat the hated Lakers last year.

Then came the brawl. I remember telling everyone I knew that I was through with the league for good. This was it, guys. Seriously. I mean it this time.

Next thing I knew it was March and I found myself searching something to fill the void of the missing NHL playoffs. Then I discovered Dwyane Wade highlights, reading about the Suns and the Mavericks, watching the Pistons get back on track and I said to myself, “o.k. I’m gonna give these playoffs one more shot. There’s nothing else on anyway and I’m not gonna spend my time wasting away with baseball.”

So, for the last two months I’ve tried to watch the playoffs. True, the first round didn’t receive much attention from me. But I watched every game of the conference finals and every game of the finals.

The Pistons/Spurs series went against everyone said would happen. The Spurs and Pistons both blew each other out in games 1-4. Then you had the shocker of game 5 with the Rasheed debacle/Horry make. Next came the Pistons grittiness and determination. All leading to a game 7.

So, after spending my time trying to get back into the league that I used to love, what did I receive in return? Quite possibly the worst game 7 in any sport in any league that I’ve ever seen.

First let’s talk about the Pistons/Spurs. On the San Antonio side of the ball, you had a point-guard-less team due to Frenchy, the disappearing Parker. You had Duncan not wanting the ball or making a shot for basically one full quarter. You had awful half court sets and solid D. Not the most riveting on TV. Then there’s the Pistons.

On their way to losing, leader Chauncey pulled a disappearing act and did virtually nothing in the entire second half until it was too late. Same goes for Rip Hamilton. Then the defense finally started letting Tim Duncan square up for his patented bank shot. Considering he hadn’t had the shot for 6 games and 2 quarters, the timing for the Pistons was not good to say the least. You also had Lindsay Hunter completing the 2-story cape cod he’s been working so hard at building in the playoffs by laying the final 8 bricks needed to finish the house. Don’t forget about Tayshaun either, who is the Piston equivalent of Sergei Federov – when he’s on, he’s on, but when he’s not, he’s lazy and unmotivated and useless.

Watching this game was not a fun experience. For God’s sake, this was my hometown team and I’m sitting here wanting to watch Reno 911. So to the Pistons and Spurs, I say, thanks for a pathetic game 7. Kudos to the Spurs and for Duncan for coming up big in the 3rd and 4th quarter when they needed it most.

This brings me to my final point on why the game was soooooo awful. The officiating. And it wasn’t just this game. It was all of them. The entire playoffs. The officials in this league are more inconsistent than anything I’ve ever seen.

As a fan, you can pretty much take out the first quarter of every game as players and officials try to figure each other out because their foul calling changes every game. And on top of that, you have an entirely different crew every game, which leads to DRAMATIC inconsistencies. Throw in the fact that some refs have shown an obvious bias toward certain teams, and you can understand why I feel the NBA is one short step away from professional wrestling.

I wonder what David Stern was thinking tonight as he sat in the stand with both teams not even at the 40 point mark by halftime? I wonder what he thought of Chauncey Billups and Manu Ginobilli, the two most exciting players on the court, playing sparingly in the first half due to two touch-fouls apiece? I wonder what he thought of the fact that this came had the ebb and flow of molasses in January?

As a fan who wanted to turn off the game, I know what I thought. The NBA….it’s crappppp-tastic.

See you next year commissioner. Have fun without me. I’ll be watching the NHL again…I hope.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Crossfired

This isn't the most up-to-date link, but last year, Jon Stewart, host of the Daily Show on Comedy Central, went on the now-canceled CNN show Crossfire. He got into it with Tucker Carlson and their co-host about how bad they "hackery" shows are for the political process. Something he's completely right about. Anyway, Stewart and Carlson didn't exactly get along, but what took place was hysterical.

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2652831

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

South Park...Where are Thou?

If ONLY South Park were still in season.

I know when I think of "significant moments in history", I too lump MLK's birthday, the crumbling of the Berlin wall and Jacko's not-guilty verdict into the same group.


Jackson Ending Sleepovers in His Room

By LINDA DEUTSCH, AP Special Correspondent 49 minutes ago
SANTA MARIA, Calif. -

Michael Jackson's lawyer said Tuesday he is convinced that the pop star "has never molested any child," but he said Jackson would no longer let children or their families sleep in his room.

"He's not going to do that because it makes him vulnerable to false charges," attorney Thomas Mesereau Jr. told The Associated Press in a wide-ranging interview.

Mesereau said he believes that Jackson will continue to be "a convenient target for people who want to extract money or build careers at his expense." As a result, the attorney said, Jackson will have to change his lifestyle and "not easily allow people to enter his life."

Mesereau and his colleague, Susan Yu, spoke to the AP the morning after Jackson's acquittal on charges he molested a 13-year-old cancer survivor at his Neverland ranch.
Both attorneys described Jackson as the most vulnerable person they have ever met. They said he is physically depleted from the four-month trial and will need time to rest before he again ventures into the public.

Jurors said the accusations of a young boy and his family were not credible — a legal victory that triggered jubilation among the pop star's fans and embarrassment for the district attorney's office.

The Jackson Web site mjjsource.com trumpeted the acquittal with graphics declaring "Innocent" and showing a hand giving a victory sign as a fanfare plays. A scrolling calendar highlights historic events such as "Martin Luther King is born," "The Berlin Wall falls," "Nelson Mandela is freed," and finally, "June 13, 2005, Remember this date for it is a part of HIStory." The reference was to Jackson's 1995 album "HIStory: Past, Present, and Future Book I."

A raucous welcome greeted Jackson as he returned to his Neverland Ranch on Monday afternoon. As a convoy of black SUVs carrying him and his entourage pulled through the gates, his sister LaToya rolled down a window, smiled widely and waved. The crowd responded with a euphoric cheer.

"All of us here and millions around the world love and support you," proclaimed a banner strung across a fence by the compound in Los Olivos that Jackson said he created to provide himself with the childhood he never enjoyed.

"It's victory," said Tracee Raynaud, 39. "God is alive and well."

Jacko Free!!!!

In a move praised by Catholic priests everywhere, Michael Jackson was found not guilty of all charges yesterday. I don't know about you, but I can now relax and get on with my life after spending so much time devoted to this issue. It's great to see so many people supporting Michael and asking for him to get a second chance. After all, these were simply "allegations" with no merit. Of course, if any child at all comes out and says a priest touched him/her inappropriately, the town/city is ready to run the guy out of town on a rail.

It's doubtful that Michael will be shopping at K-mart for boys pants half-off anymore. What a freakshow.

In the meantime, enjoy Triump the Insult Comic Dog's interview with "supporters" at the Jackson trial last week. Un-freaking-believable.
http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2672935

Monday, June 13, 2005

Colt 45 - Works Every Time

For the Lando in all of us, I highly...no. I HIGHLY recommend checking out the following site to get Lando Calrisian's take on the world of women and love.

http://bdwworldart.com/py.htm

Friday, June 10, 2005

Look at Me! I Just Turned 363 months!!!!!!

Wow. I can hardly believe it, but this month, I turn 363 months old!!! I just LOVE being outside with my little friends. It's funny, I used to be able to run really fast, but now, after putting on some "extra poundage", I'm not the quickest guy in the bunch anymore. Too funny. Sometimes, I like to act like I'm still young and spry and play softball. Every now and then, I yell at people to "get it in" and "let's go team!!!". Where DID he learn these things?
So far, I'm having a great time working, but it would be better if I had a job at home :(

Either way, it's great to know that after 363 months, I'm still finding ways to entertain myself. Hooray for me!!!

Sincerely,
Every annoying email you've ever received from someone with a kid

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Wow! An Oil Insider Working for the President Manipulated Information? Say it ain't so!?

Well, well, well. Another day, another report on how the disciples of Bushy have once again tried to (successfully) pull one more over on the American public. This time, it's Bushy's environmental guru who took information on global warming and made sure there were no links between it and pollutants. Of course, these pollutants are caused by burning fossil fuels...which would be bad for the oil tycoons.

Unbelievable. Highly suggest you check out the investigation on the New York Times' website. Or, click here to go to the story: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/08/politics/08climate.html

On another Texas-related note, the Pistons will defeat the San Antonio Spurs in six games. Once that series is over, Texans can go back to watching Nascar for the rest of the year.